Bring on the rain!

Supposedly, there is rain coming. With heat in the triple digits every day for the past, oh, I don't know, thousand weeks, it will be nice if the meteorologists are right and a cold front comes with storms that take the temperatures down to the low 90s.

Really, though, I don't even notice the heat much anymore. I have lived in Texas all my life and am accustomed to some seriously hot summers (even as they get hotter, apparently from global warming, a theory of which I'm not convinced). My being accustomed to our extreme heat, however, is saved for moments like yesterday, when my seat belt buckle burned me. It was the plastic part, too, not even the metal part. I touched it for like, 0.002 seconds, and I have a stupid blister on my thumb. THAT, I notice.

(boo you, rising mercury)

I've gotten used to the heat in my personal life too. In fact, over the same period of time that it has been 100+ every day, it seems like one thing after another for me, and it's been constant enough that I've accepted this heat as the new normality in my life. I only get reminded of how unbearable it really is when something unexpectedly jumps up and burns me, the way my seatbelt did yesterday. At that moment, I am usually guilty of having an irrational reaction, whether it be letting a bad word slip or bursting into tears. Or being violent toward inanimate, usually solid objects that are in fact NOT scared of me (that's never a good road).

It seems that in these moments, when I finally realize how much I need a break from the heat, God sends me peace through a refresher. A rain storm, a note from my husband-to-be, an encourager at the office. It's in those moments that I know that while I can't control what happens to the proverbial temperature, I can control the way I handle it. And furthermore, not being so self absorbed leaves me open to be the refresher that God is sending to other people in the midst of their own firestorms. There's nothing greater than that!

(top 3 favorite refresher- forgot to warn you!)

I am still, however, doing secret rain dances in my office chair today. I wish I had one of those rain sticks. That would be a hit among my coworkers for sure.

Loss, then something more enjoyable

**I don't always intend for this blog to be so serious, by the way. It's just that a lot of serious things are happening right now and I am forming thoughts about them on my own for the first time.**

I guess I never did blog about last weekend, and now this weekend is upon me instead. For my family, this week has been a roller coaster. Loss will do that to you, I suppose, since everyone deals with it differently. Some like to stay busy, making plans and following through with previous commitments. Others need time just to sit and absorb what has become their new truth, while still others cope by sitting with those people and holding their hand, if just to feel like they have a purpose within the madness.

Stop the madness!

Tragedy can bring out the best and the worst in people, I guess. It can be inspiring and disheartening all in one breath. And this does lead to a whirlwind of emotions that leaves you lost and squinting and out of air. The human spirit is resilient, though, and after a while, life twists you back into a sense of normality, even if you're never quite the same after learning what you have.

That being said, I have trouble imagining what loss would be like without believing in God. There are times that I have literally prayed to feel as safe and peaceful as if I'd crawled up in God's lap. He is comfort and love and wisdom in times of sadness.

(One of my goals is to learn to better articulate the way that I love God, and the way that He loves us. I guess that is a subject for another post, though. )

On a lighter note- what about the weekend? Well, tonight Dillon and I have game night and dinner with some of our friends. It is so nice to have couple friends to hang out with. It is something I have truly underestimated in the past, and something I never want to be without now, wherever we end up. Tomorrow is the funeral and then MPA orientation at UNT. I registered for my classes yesterday, finally, and they are going to be fantastic. My first one is next Thursday.

This is what I'm supposed to chant now.

These plans are all stemming from the (false?) hope that I will in fact make it through the day without being killed by the bouncy, aggressive, disgusting crickets that are infesting our office once again.

We'll see, crickets.

My first video post!

I'm going to post soon about the weekend and such, but in the meantime, meet Dillon. This is him attempting to beat my score on Bubble Pop this weekend. I crack up every time because I think he looks like he is calculating numbers at a breakneck speed, and because he tries to keep a straight face but can't. Enjoy!

Half of a whole

Six months ago today (around this very time of day in fact) I became 1/2 of a betrothed couple.

When I look back on that day, it's just as perfect as ever in my mind. Throughout adolescence, you wonder the way in which you will get engaged. A scavenger hunt? A romantic dinner? On the Kiss Me cam at the game? The element that was so special about my engagement was how thoroughly Dillon planned the day, and the fact that he was still nervous even though he already knew I'd say yes.

That day was one of the happiest of my life. For someone to accept you wholly for who you are and to choose to love and commit to you, forever... that's quite a feeling. Since the engagement, our days have ranged from equally as happy to downright difficult. The stress that exists in some parts of my life right now is as thick as syrup, certainly moreso than I've ever known. Without Dillon pulling me through the muck over the last month, praying with me and blanketing me with support, some days I would be laboring hard just to take a calm, deep breath. And for the first time, I realize that it's okay to acknowledge that.

I'm the lone half of the couple with diamonds on my ring finger for now. But I'm far from alone. I still have a great family. And now, I have a pillar of a partner who is sharing the load and helping me lift buckets of cement as we pour a brand new, strong foundation for the life we will start together...not too far away now.

For the whole proposal story, you can visit mywedding.com/dillonandchristianne and click on 'Our Story.'

Let's get this straight...

The title of this blog is totally theoretical.

In no way am I a seamstress, professional OR by hobby. I have, sadly, been out-crocheted many times over by my little sister (who I'm sure, one day, will have her own money-raking Etsy website because she's just THAT creative). This is not a blog that will chronicle my journey into quilting or where you'll see weekly updates of my latest fabrics.

I just like the idea of life as a quilt. I even googled "quotes about quilts" and found the saying that is at the top of the page, just to drive home what my point really is with that title.

I guess it's interesting when you start to grow up. You look back on what you thought your experiences were and a lot of times you see something different. A major disappointment was a huge blessing in disguise. Something that broke you in the moment made you strong for someone else down the road. A kind gesture shaped the way you now look to be treated, or the way you strive to treat others.

Maybe that's why I'm deciding to take the time to write about the moments in my own life again. A lot is happening right now that I'd like to be able to look back on, because maybe I can learn from this stuff later on the way that I'm learning from my past right now.

When I say "a lot is happening," it's just that I have a few of what the insurance companies deem "major life events" coming up here in the next year-ish. I'm starting graduate school in two weeks and that will be my new reality for the next year and a half. I'm moving in three weeks to a new little town I've never lived in, although it isn't far from where I went to college. I just took a program coordinator position at TWU, which means my career is actually beginning. And most importantly, I'm getting married in November.

See why I need to keep a blog to document the process of adding these new patches to my life's quilt? We ARE all stitched lovingly together. Each moment is significant.